Sorry, I Need to Find Myself First

How can I be in a relationship if I can’t tell her who I am, let me rephrase that.
I don’t fully understand who I am.
I look in the mirror & see _______ ______;
A kid who doesn’t know himself.
I try to think about it but it hurts.
It hurts to know I am not the man I want to be.
I often think about it while looking as though I am zoning out, & then I realize others are gazing at me…
She is amazing, but I just don’t know if I could ever be her boyfriend.
I just feel as though I am not ready yet.
So much peer pressure saying of who is with whom, but what all I am hearing is a foreign language all together.
I am struggling enough as it is to find myself & now my peers want me to get into a relationship.
I don’t know anything about relationships… So can I get my blood checked & have some guy tell me WHAT I am, WHO I am, what my values are & how I can become better.
Finding myself is like being an adventurer.
It might take a while, but when I do find myself, I will become the man that I wanted to be.