Real Talk

If you knew me, you'd know I wanted to leave Utah a long time ago.

Somewhere where I can explore. 

Out into the fields is a future worth exploring.

If you knew me, you'd know I enjoy service work more than myself.

You'd know I would serve for the rest of my life

if I didn't have to worry about myself.

If you knew me, you'd know when I was a kid

who cried when someone got hurt. 

As if their pain was conducted through me.

I am a forgetful person, 

like a child who doesn't know what is going on until I forget about it.

If you knew me, you'd know I never forget names of those who impacted my life.

So sorry if I forget you, it's because you never remembered me.

If you knew me, you'd know I sometimes forget my friends. 

Who they are & why they know me.

Music is why my heart beats.

You'd know I can't play an instrument.

If you knew me, you'd know I get away from home as often as I can.

You'd know I like anything better than what I got at home.

Because I feel more at home when I got no shelter.

If you knew me, you'd know sleep is not a motivator for me.

It's a waste of my time when I could get creativity flown at its prime.

You'd know I like to wear onesies.

If you knew me, you'd know I fool myself too many times.

I hedged too many feeling of mine heart & mind

and now I get tangled in the smallest degree of my immense emotions.

I can't decide anything, because afterwards I regret it in the end.

If you knew me, you'd know I am a post card that has a pretty picture of a pretty place.

That is all that I am.

I am just the Gajdos kid who does so well at saying the sacrament prayers.

Thank you all for noticing, but I don't like the attention.

If you knew me, you'd know I am just like my dad, who is just like my grandmother who carries too many things. 

My room is an artists mess.

Holding onto too many things just to remind me of some distant memory I had.

If you knew me, you'd know it takes me two or three tries before I give up.

So if you don't want to date me, just say it up front.

Don't say no to me after we get married.

If you knew me, you'd know I like single dating.

Then I won't get nervous about missing something in the conversation.

I can see who you really are. 

But that doesn't matter because,

I was cursed with an incessant love of everyone.

If you knew me, you'd know I am optimistic.

So I will shout out,

Live a life worth telling as a bedtime story.